Assalamualaikum stalkers
bimbo - ' a woman who is physically attractive but is perceived to have a low intelligence or poor education '
everybody is not purrrrfect you know
each one of you has your own limitation
intelligence , ability , physical appearances
sometimes i do feel so awkward and adopted
i am totally an alien
i am way too different from you guys
i made a lot of mistakes that you guys didnt
i cannot do most of the things you guys can do
its out of my control , i just cant
however , i learnt to control my acts
i learnt how to overcome things step by step
the step is slow , i know , but at least it is working
you just have to trust me , thats all
i am not saying that i am totally an idiot , contrary to you guys
i have A LOT of weaknesses that you guys dont see
only CERTAIN people who exist in my world knows
and that person really does know me so well
and whatever it is , you cant tell me to abandon the person that helps me a lot
the person is a gift for me , a special gift from God
my life would be in a serious damaged level if the person is not around
seriously , even my mum noticed the changes happened to me once
she even asked me ,
' cah , kenapa mak tengok cah macam tak ceria langsung , tak mcm dulu '
you guys dont know me at all
you guys dont know how hard i tried
and i am starting to feel so annoyed and tired of the comments from you guys about me
i am starting to feel so tired of trying , because you guys just dont want to see that i really am trying
if you dont see , why are you criticizing?
i am trying , i really am ,
cant you see
it is hard for me ,
so hard
i didnt get the chance to plan about my future thoroughly,
it is just based on what my dad pushed me to
i dont even know what i want to be
because i am not like you guys
if you guys didnt know , i did pretty well because
i thought mine would be so low
but at the end , mine is right below of the best
i did well than the others
i thought they will always be on top of me
but at the end , they didnt
i am proud of myself
because at first i really dont know wether i can do it or not
its like
getting a B+ is so great for me
but not great for you guys right
i will never be enough
because i am not like you
i am just an alien , totally different
i am trying here ,
if i ever done anything well in the future
i must have done something right
for my mum , my dad , and the person who helps me go through the resistance ,
and it is not you
xoxo
